A speaker at a large pastor’s conference told my husband that in discussing how to pray with and for your wife as a pastor with the other speakers, most of them confessed that they never did it. If they prayed for them, they didn’t pray with them. We found this shocking and disturbing.
Since then, the blogoshpere has picked up on the topic, with different pastors encouraging men to take the initiative, get past “the awkwardness”, and just do it. I would like to encourage not just pastors but also all husbands reading this to pray with and for their wives. I can’t imagine my life without this blessing.
Growing up in a pastor’s home, I woke up at night several times to the sound of my parents praying together in their room before they slept. I would roll over and go back to sleep. At the time, I thought little of it – of course my parents prayed together. Of course my dad prayed for his wife. I had not even considered the possibility of it not being that way. But looking back, I can see that the fact that my father prayed with and for my mother gave me incredible stability. I knew that they both knew and cared for each other at the deepest level, and that nothing would change that. Not six crazy kids, not a church split, not moving, not any attack of the evil one. I intuitively understood that God used this prayer to keep their marriage strong.
The first time I consciously made the connection between prayer and a healthy relationship was on my second date with my husband (whom I had met less than a month before). When he dropped me off at the end of the evening, he pulled out a Bible and said, “I’d like to start doing devotions with you when we end an evening together, so I’m going to read, and then pray.” I have no idea what passage he read, but hearing him pray for me was one of the big “green lights” in evaluating him as a potential husband. If this guy would pray so sincerely for the health of my soul on our second date in front of me, I knew I could trust him with my life. Since then, I know that he has prayed for me during every single work day in his study, and with me every single night before we go to bed. Whether everything is going great or I’m a basket case and don’t even know what to pray myself, I know that he will lovingly pray for my situation, when I’m not with him and when I am.
So if you aren’t praying with and for your wife right now, do it! It will bless you marriage, your family, and the whole covenant community as your marriage is strengthened. Maybe you’ll feel awkward about it the first few times, but my guess is that your wife will be swept off her feet.