It Matters Whom You Marry, Book Version

it-matters-whom-you-marry When we posted the article, “It Matters Whom You Marry,” a couple years ago, we were amazed to see it reach millions of readers all over the world. It was reblogged dozens of times and translated into several languages (Portuguese, Hungarian, Bosnian, and others). On Monday, Christian Focus Publications will release the book version in the U. S.: Your Future Other Half: It Matters Whom You Marry. Here is a taste from the introduction: Continue reading

When Divorce is Good and Holy

775px-Yury_Pen-Divorce Why is infidelity so rampant and pornography so prolific in the evangelical church?

Is it in part because we fail to see lawful divorce as good and holy?

Here is a not unheard-of scenario in the life of the church: a wife discovers the devastating, sickening reality that her spouse is an adulterer. The husband is either engaged in a physical affair with someone else, or virtual, pornographic affairs with multiple others. The betrayed spouse calls her elder or pastor. The leadership of the church steps in to provide shepherding, counsel, and discipline. Continue reading

Adultery Prevention

walkinQU One of the most depressing aspects of blogging is having a blog post ready, then checking Challies before you post, only to see him tackle the same subject earlier this morning. But if that post was how people fall into extra marital affairs, then this is how people who have remained faithfully married have, by grace, done so. Here are some practical ways to maintain faithfulness to your spouse. (I am writing from a woman’s perspective, but much of this would apply to husbands as well.)

Maybe you’ve noticed that someone has singled you out for conversation at church. Again. They’re active in your social media life, liking everything you post. Maybe they’ve sent you a text or two. You realize that there is certainly some attraction there. If you’re married, it could be the start of an affair. Continue reading

Dear Young, Christian Husband With a Job and Healthy Wife Who Wants a Baby

keene-mass-empty-bassinetI’ve never met you—I don’t think your wife has, either, so sorry to break into your day like this. A friend of your wife’s asked me to write and tell you something. Your wife has been trying to tell you for a while, but so far, it doesn’t seem like you can hear: your wife wants a baby.

“Wants” might not be the right word; it might make her desire seem less serious. Did you know that your wife spends a lot of time crying about this – when you’re not around, because she doesn’t want to upset you or disrespect you? She calls her friends up when she needs to talk about this and they do their best to comfort her, but it’s really not much. She avoids the baby section of the grocery store because one time she went through it and ended up sobbing in the parking lot without the groceries. She is not being a suck. She is suffering. Continue reading

Sexual Godliness (2/2)

III. The Devastation of Sexual Sin

Sexual sin is profoundly offensive to God and he attaches dire consequences to those who practice it. In the Old Testament under Mosaic law, adultery was punishable by death. And the Bible is full of grave warnings promising destruction to those who are sexually immoral.

The book of Proverbs is full of these warnings: “The lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol” (5:3-5); “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself” (6:32); “All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life” (7:22-23). Continue reading

Sexual Godliness (1/2)

The following article is a guest contribution by Dale VanDyke, pastor of Harvest Orthodox Presbyterian Church in Wyoming, Michigan. It was originally preached as a sermon on Exodus 20:14 on September 9th, and is published here with permission of the author.

Of all the ten commandments there may not be one which is more gleefully and flagrantly violated in our popular culture more than the seventh. Internet pornography is a $10 billion a year business. For a good part of this year, the top three sellers on the New York Times list were books of erotic romance targeting women with “mommy porn”. Publishers are rushing to capitalize on the demand for this brand new genre. Homosexuality has become mainstream and those who believe it is sin will increasingly be targeted for persecution.

Unfortunately, the American church has been unprepared for this erotic onslaught. You could easily argue that our failures to keep this commandment have brought more grief, guilt and shame into the lives of God’s people than any other. There is no way I can possibly address all the issues raised by the seventh commandment. Today, I hope we can delight in the liberty of the seventh commandment as God seeks to free his people from the sensual bondage of the nations around them and live as a kingdom of priests in relation to marriage and sex. Continue reading

Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too

Just as a woman must think carefully about a potential husband, you must be careful about a potential wife. Careful evaluation in a number of areas will save you a lifetime of frustration. Right now, you might think she’s pretty, or playful, or nice to you. It’s not enough. One pregnancy can alter a figure, responsibilities at home can reveal laziness, and a disagreement about money can turn her against you. The church in North America has many men who are hampered in their abilities and success because they were distracted by a pretty face who now seems to bring more trouble than bliss.

Just as a girl can’t imagine how much of an impact a husband will have on her unless an older woman is very frank with her, so you can’t imagine how that attractive girl you know could impact your life unless someone is very frank with you. Marriage will impact nearly every area of your life. Ready? Continue reading

It Matters Whom You Marry

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. Continue reading